My Kingdom for a Martini
… a mixture of spirits and flavorings that whets the appetite, pleases the eye, and stimulates the mind. It is one of our conspicuous contributions to cultured living, up there with the Great American Songbook and the tuxedo.
By the 1990s, few establishments could produce a passable Martini or Manhattan.
Some of it is the ignorance of the folks behind the bar, who not only have a limited mastery of the ratios that make such cocktails refreshing but also fail to measure. It is a profession after all dominated by disabused actors and women comfortable in brief attire. But it is just as much the lack of audience.
The best cocktails were not the product of the 1950s when the Rat Pack set the standard, but the 1920s when piano bars and hot jazz ruled and people changed their clothes for the evening. Our most elegant cocktails were part of the great modern revolution in design and had the same sleek lines as that era’s airplanes and motorcars.
- The Weekly Standard – “The Cocktail Renaissance“
First, the disclaimer – I have nothing against actors for female bartenders. I do not disparage the beer drinker. I do take offense with someone behind the rail who can’t be bothered to learn how to do their job and worse still, makes the customer the guilty party for requesting the bartender actually perform their trade.
It does not take a degree in organic chemistry to make a proper cocktail. It takes three things – ingredients, equipment, and the ability to follow directions. It’s my guess that all three conspire against perfection. First, the ingredients. Cheap booze makes cheap drinks and in a market where volume sales is what that majority of customers demand, quality gets a nail it its coffin. The equipment is less of an issue other than the fact that it requires more work to keep six things clean than it does one … and the bottle open or corkscrew rarely get cleaned anyway so that makes it “zero”. Finally we arrive at “following instructions”. Doing things right takes time and why bother making one good drink if you can pawn off four bad ones in the same amount of time and get tipped for doing so.
The well formed cocktail has gone the way of fine crafted coachwork, the hand made chair, and braided rugs – all were built with pride and quality and the time involved resulted in something that would last.
A cocktail “must whet the appetite, not dull it.”
A cocktail “should stimulate the mind as well as the appetite.”
A cocktail “must be pleasing to the palate.”
A cocktail “must be pleasing to the eye.”
A cocktail “must have sufficient alcoholic flavor.”
A cocktail “must be well-iced.”- David Embury, Fine Art of Mixing Drinks
On a personal note, I’m a lightweight. If I can only have one drink in a sitting, I’d rather it be one worth drinking. While those around me pay $6-$10 for 3 drinks of C2H5OH + “filler”, I’d rather pay the same for one spectacular representation of a classic libation. If you are up for the challenge of learning a classic, check out Mike Hagan’s “5 Classic Cocktails Every Man Should Know“.
Fine crafted coachwork, the handmade chair and the braided rug have not completely gone the way of the horse and buggy. One group still does a great job on these and are honest and sober to boot. Here’s to Amish bartenders!!!
It is really fair to say that on the whole and given more or less the standard for measure, that someone who does not evaluate their own work, can for the most part, be expected to excel at a task ? (… channeling Sir Humphrey)
Part of the reason why I never order mixed drinks is that they are often so disappointing. About 15 years ago I celebrated my birthday in Montreal with some friends and they had the bartender mix a Manhattan for me, showing me all the steps. We were in ahead of “prime time” and it was really a nice little interlude. But bad mixed drinks are so disappointing (and hangover-inducing), that I rarely risk it any more.
On a related note, yesterday I was at a sandwich shop and ordered a “name” sandwich that according to the description is made on white bread. I asked for whole wheat and the girl behind the counter said they didn’t have whole wheat. When I pointed to a loaf of golden-brown bread on the shelf behind her, she launched into a speech about how the name of the bread was actually Honey Wheat. And I did something I never do. Interrupting her, I said, “Could you please just make the sandwich?”
I agree on the “mixed drinks are often so disappointing” – although I will add that there are a number of establishments in Boston (Cambridge, Beacon Street, Leather District) that actually have educated bartenders and ordering a drink at the bar lets you know they have spent some real time at their trade.
As for bread – there too, a real sandwich shop is something to go looking for. Anyone up for a road trip to Reins Deli ?
Like so many things – as you pointed out – following instructions and good materials go along way. Next time you are in the neighborhood stop by for a mojito.. Yeah Yeah trendy, got it, but on a hot day a good mojito made with fresh mint and freshly squeezed lime is great. I have had to master this drink for the very reason discussed – most places do not take the time to make it correctly or to use quality ingredients. Speaking of hot days… currently 91 with heat index of 95, better start squeezing some limes!
I’ve shy’d away from the Mojito as well as the Mint Julep for just the obvious reason that it is most often a tortured soul. So, I will definitely give you a “head’s up” to my next arrival !
Is Reins Deli in Connecticut?
I have to admit that I’m not really up on cocktails. I like an occasional martini if it’s made well. And there was a column in the New York Times discussing Old Fashioneds that made them sound pretty good. Kir used to be something I’d order back in the olden days, but that’s more of an aperitif. In my younger days I liked whiskey sours, but the last one I had (at a wedding) was made from a mix and, um, soured me on ever ordering one again.
Any suggestions on cocktails to try?
Yes, indeed, Rein’s Deli in just outside of Hartford on the Massachusetts side. Like so many of my colleagues, those traveling RT 84 have Reins on speed dial and hit the “send” button about two exists out no mater the time of day or night.
As for cocktails, I have a fondness for a traditional Gin Martini with extra olives. If it is a bit harsh for your taste is is probably the Gin – consider something with less botanicals, especially the juniper. For some of the other recommendations (above), it will be highly dependent on the skills of the bartender.
Sounds like a road trip to me.